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Ah, Christmastime. The true consumer holiday. As I am sure you noticed, this is the seasonof eggnog, feasting, fruit cake, and measuring self-worth by the size andnumber of gifts received. The perfect season to use all those cynical frownsyou practiced all year long. I am exaggerating of course, but though I am anoptimist, I cannot help but see the intrinsic irony of the holiday.
* * *
Lightsare blaring outside, screaming red for attention, like they only do onChristmas Eve, or on top of peep show places. Under the light, you see theplebe, dazed and laden, their credit limit burst up so wide that only the trimon their coat differentiates them from the poor downtown. The radio blastsseasons greetings, but even at that volume it still doesn't reach the deaf earsof tired and stressed out shoppers. I'd be surprised if Zombie drink salesincreased around Christmas: you'd be afraid of receiving a shopper's brain in aclean glass.
Thisis the time of the year I postpone things: shopping, cooking, cleaning... thehustle and bustle conks me out. Given the choice (and I always provide myselfwith the choice), I rather would not plunge into the aggressive, gimme-now,stressed out crowd. There should be a saying: avoid a frowning crowd today,live to smile another day. It is, I am certain, by avoiding situations whereyou are reduced to little more than an elbow sticking into somebody's ribs thatyou are sure to remain calm, serene, and, of course, optimistic and confidentin the future of mankind. Those prophets announcing Man-provoked doom must havefirst-hand crowd experience. In a crowd, Man undergoes lobotomy. This is not atheorem, but a law. Alone, people have the greatest ideas: ecology, humanism,sympathy... Great ideas. Except that to practice them you have to be not alone.Then the great idea is misunderstood, abused, or disregarded by the stupid guywhose sole purpose in life is to prove to you how stupid and misguided he isnot to listen to your brilliant ideas. Think carefully now: you know someonelike that.
Butlife always drags you back into the crowd: unless you are a remarkably giftedhermit, you cannot sow, grow, butcher, build, and knit-yourself out ofdependence on other people for sustenance. Hunger and cold relentlessly drawyou back for food, warmth and company. Then you test how lucky you are: howlong can you resist the provocation of all the stupid people? Stupid, thistime, in both senses: idiot, and senseless. It already takes a saint to remainpoised in public; imagine at Christmas. At Christmas-time, it takes a Saintcapital S. Anything less, and the buoyant and bubbly person sinks as fast asthe Titanic.
Thefunny is, it takes a crowd of angry shoppers to start noticing the nice stuffpeople do. Nice actions are greeted like a barge for shipwrecked people in themiddle of the freezing Atlantic Ocean, like a cozy seat by the hearth in themiddle of winter: they are welcome relief.
Justlast weekend, I chanced to see one of those holiday lights. The line at thecash was gnawing their teeth because the cashier had to change rolls, and shewas new at the job, and she wanted to make sure everything was packed properly,and she wanted to be polite and serviceable on her first week. The man in frontof me was smiling, taking the forced wait as a rare opportunity to watch lifepass by. A live example of monkhood, taking the time to make eye contact andsmile. His calm exemplary, but most people were immune to the infectiousness ofhis disease. Some even got angry that he wasn't getting angry to rush thecashier with them.
AfterI paid for my items, I took the escalators down. The nice man was further down,trying to run between unreacting people crushed in the steps to catch the thiefwho stole his bag.
Thisstory © Saskia Latendresse 2000-2006.